Thursday, May 24, 2012

This social thing. Is just not happening.

I survived another children's birthday today. And yes, it's about survival.
Before going there I ran errands across the entire city, picked up both my stepchildren at their respective, also across the city, schools and was generally just exhausted and tired from a week of too early wake up times. The hammering headache on the way to the party certainly didn't help.

To my defense: I went with the best intentions. I wanted to rise to the occasion and socialize, engage and generally behave as if this is not a complete burden to me.
I am finally concluding now that it's not me. I tried. I really did.
Those women are simply bitches.

I tried smalltalk to my left and got short responses with no visible interest.
I tried the same thing to my right. The reactions were the same.
I didn't even bother with those opposite me.

My feelings towards these women are rather conflicted.
Part of me feels hurt and rejected for being the new one (my stepdaughter was one out of two new kids in class this year. The rest of the class knew each other since kindergarden) and maybe the foreign one (should I tell them that I understand them quite well?).
The other part of me genuinely doesn't want to be part of a social cloud including these women (no, nothing to do with the former). With their status symbols and feigned interest in other people.
It looks pretentious and wasteful how they present themselves. Everything has to measure up against each other. An empty plate, a shortage in marshmallows could easily be interpreted as stingy.
While I went all Martha Stewart when I bought color coordinated plates and cutlery I forgot that quantity tops quality.

I don't get it. I sat next to a woman holding a PhD and she behaved as if high school just ended for the year and summer break has started. And as if I belonged to the wrong group.

While I was counting the minutes today, a woman next to me was comparing Kindergarten with Grade One in reference to ease of arranging play dates and general getting along with other mothers. KG was, according to her, much more difficult and exhausting than Grade One were she knew most women and was at ease. The response: "The problem is with the new mothers. They aren't trying hard enough to engage."
I am new here, I don't know anybody and you won't welcome me openly? Why not? Why aren't you making me feel at ease as my stepdaughter is made to feel?

I considered saying something. Just a small note from the other side.
They probably wouldn't even understand it. 


  1. Don´t worry. You´re not the one who is doing something wrong, at least not from my impression. No matter if you´re good with small talk etc. it seems these women are like a wall.

    I´m not a person who is good with socialising either. Story of my life. Anyhow the older I get the more I´m cool with it. It´s just not who I am.

    1. Thanks for your comment! My husband keeps telling me the same thing and I am trying really hard to not have it get to me. (Which only works for half the time.)
      I just feel bad for my stepdaughter who I want to hang out with her friends and these women are giving me a hard time realizing that.