Saturday, May 05, 2012


It's May already, it's first week already over. Walpurgis Night is behind us - not that it would have been celebrated here anyway. But it should! Oh yes it should!
On the contrary, Pentecost is coming.

Isn't that - for this religiously still illiterate one - the time when the apostles received the Holy Spirit and where able to speak in tongues?
Well, my language courses are still going strong but will be coming to an end soon and I find myself in some kind of Babel state recently.
It wasn't surprising to me that the words popping in my mind during French class would be Arabic - that was to be expected.
But in my everyday life, suddenly, without speaking a word of German for days - really only once a week with my mother (reading doesn't count, which I do every day for the news) - I find myself struggling with words.

I stutter a little you must know. I don't know when it started or where it came from. I don't do it when I am nervous. It's so light, I can't even say which are my difficult letters. I do it in both English and German.
Anyway, recently, I say things in German that are supposed to come out in English. Often these words start with the same letter. Sometimes they don't. But they are always the right words. Exactly the one I wanted - just in the wrong language.
It doesn't matter where I am, who I am talking to or what I was talking about.
Words just pop out. Just like that.
And it startles me, every time.

I think the message is pretty clear though.
My subconscious is ready long before I am. Ready for Berlin in the summer.
By putting it out here - without any concrete plans (some time after school is out), nothing booked or clearly defined - I decide that I will spend time in Berlin this summer and I cannot wait.

(On the contrary, by the way, this has never happened in German. Yes, I struggle with German words too. Because I don't use certain words regularly anymore or because most of my conversations are in English so some topics are underrepresented in German. But this Words-popping-out-of-your-mouth-thing? No.)

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